epiphanies...

these lightbulb moments are not in short supply when one has soooo much time to think about things. but below is a list of things i've recently learned about myself and my situation:

1. i am a woman who can wear bright red lipstick. in fact, i did just that today. granted, it is halloween, but it didn't look bad and i never would have guessed i could pull it off.

2. i am chaos embodied. while i may not do things neatly or conventionally, i get them done and still have fun while doing them. sometimes i cause stress in the process, but sometimes it is just a good ol' laugh a minute.

3. i cannot be controlled. i don't mean i'm out of control, but i have noticed that i strain against any kind of reigns around me. i know this is somewhat immature and adolescent, but there must be a reason for it.

4. i still love wearing men's shirts to bed. in fact, i went out and bought two new ones so i don't have to rely on shirts that no longer live here.

5. i really am an eternal optomist. this is as much a fault as it is a positive characteristic. i'm destined to have my heart broken again and again, but at least i see the world as full of hope and possibility.

6. i am a person who is willing to take a hidden opportunity. anyone who's gone through a bad patch knows that something is hidden in it all. either you find you are closer to a friend than you ever expected, you come across a great chance, or you realize how much respect people have for you. i've had all three chances and feel blessed to have them.