new identity...

i knew that being separated, that having to check the divorced box, and changing my name would all change my identity, but there are other things as well. how people look at you changes when you are dealing with a life-changing thing like the end of a marriage.

the problem is that i'm not comfy with this new identity. where there once was none has sprung sexual tension. where there once was there is now a lack of anonymity. i am no longer off limits and married. i'm almost single. that changes everything. it changes how friends react when the bartender smilles and flirts with you (either egging you on or being protective) and it changes what new folks think too.

i'm just not used to be a "single" again. i don't really want to be used to it. instantly i've become the newest piece of meat. and while being meat has it's place, being it on a daily basis is monotonous and more than a little icky.

alas... my new-found identity is sure to grow on me. besides, i get to buy shoes :)