sometimes i just wonder...
what went wrong and why it went the way it did. i wonder if my not liking football made his life difficult to live. i wonder if our overall differences, his love of the gym, my love of books, his want to settle and my want to progress, did us in. i wonder if our backgrounds, his smalltown life and my big city dreams (although never realized) and suburban past, were just too different to mesh.
i wonder why he couldn't talk to me when he was the one i talked to the most. i wonder why i'm alone and tired and sad and he left to be happy. why is one person so happy by what makes the other so sad?
it isn't that i want the situation we had, but i sure wish i could revise what happened or at least figure it out to avoid it in the future...
posted by blonde hoyden @ 9:08 PM
2 comments
2 Comments:
Its natural to wonder what we could have done to change things that happen in our lives, but in the case of relationships that fail, especially after 10 years, it's almost always impossible to lay the blame on just one person.
None of the factors you mention destine a relationship to failure. About the only thing my spouse has in common with me is education and, um, me. She's country; I'm city. She's science; I'm arts. She's never met a sport she could play well; I have. But we've lasted mostly because we're both committed to this thing.
He decided he wasn't committed and walked off rather than put the work necessary into working things through.
If he's really happy, after tearing up all the lives involved, then I'd rack that up to a character defect. A pathology like the criminal who violates laws without guilt.
Hang in there, Blondie
Yeah, I don't think he's actually "so happy" by what makes you so sad. It's just that he thinks in the long run it'll make him less unhappy than he evidently was. Whether it will or not remains to be seen, not that we care!
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