that which does not kill us...

samoring mentioned this "cliche" in a response to my last entry. if she can believe this, i need to as well. and you know what, she and i are two strong chicks at this point. i think we've both found that the issues of others, especially each other, keep us going. we both look at what the other person is going through and try to minimize our own issues.

my issues, however, are not as life altering or permanent as others are dealing with. last week was tough to watch. one friend lost her last remaining parent, her dad. one had the third anniversary of her husband's death. one had a co-worker drink himself to death and another, more of a friend than colleague, go missing in a plane crash. this has easily distracted me from "my" issues. but it has made me think. it is has made me worry. it has made me anxious. it made me depressed. what's new right???

but above all, it made me realize that my issues may be nothing in the spectrum of issues. my family, my children, myself... all alive and well. i have great friends, a budding relationship, wonderful children, and supportive family members. these things make money and jobs and stress less of an issue. i actually feel lucky, if not a little stronger :)

the long and the short of it...

i am still alive. that's about it. life has changed many things since i last blogged, but i'm still here. that is truly my new quest. jobs have changed. the house is up for sale. the blood pressure is finally down. surgery was had. but i'm still here.

there are issues, however, as some things have a tendency to stay the same. while i am in the process of moving (or at least selling the house), i have no final destination. i am just as confused, if not more so, than a year ago. men are still trying to treat me like a drive through. that has yet to change. however, i am feeling less like one and push back against all of these inappropriate people and their attempts at relationships. i feel lonely, and hopefully that will stop. however, i know i am not destined to be alone. that is not my calling. i try every day, and hopefully that won't stop. i am overwhelmed by things i bring about myself. still haven't changed that, but we all know there is probably no way to do so.

alas, that's life in the world of this hoyden.