new identity...

i knew that being separated, that having to check the divorced box, and changing my name would all change my identity, but there are other things as well. how people look at you changes when you are dealing with a life-changing thing like the end of a marriage.

the problem is that i'm not comfy with this new identity. where there once was none has sprung sexual tension. where there once was there is now a lack of anonymity. i am no longer off limits and married. i'm almost single. that changes everything. it changes how friends react when the bartender smilles and flirts with you (either egging you on or being protective) and it changes what new folks think too.

i'm just not used to be a "single" again. i don't really want to be used to it. instantly i've become the newest piece of meat. and while being meat has it's place, being it on a daily basis is monotonous and more than a little icky.

alas... my new-found identity is sure to grow on me. besides, i get to buy shoes :)

lessons from the bottom of a mojito...

i got home from a conference in orlando just yesterday, and these few days away taught me quite a bit. not only did i realize that mojitos made while a restuarant is empty are much better than those slapped together when the crowd is bustling, but i now know i can talk, well. the presentation at the conference went great. i had fun with my buddy and we entertained and informed, the true marks of good teachers.

i also learned that high school does not go away. the friends you had then were friends for a reason, and they may or may not be suitable as "adult" friends. i had a great time reaquainting myself with high school friends. granted, they were friends all the way through college as well, but time is time, and it either moves your further away or closer together.

we still have very different lives, some married, some single, some divorced, and then me, stuck in the middle. we have different jobs and even different living situations, but a few drinks and some old stories bond you like nothing else. laughing over your past is a great part of getting older. and finding friends, at the bottom of a mojito or not, is a great thing!